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ALL IN A DAY'S WORK (Contributed by chanel_allure0627)
One woman man........
WE SELL GREETING CARDS at my drug store. A young man handed me one to
ring up. It read, " To my one and only woman in my life." I told my
self......"wow, how sweet this man is..."
Then he handed me a second card --- with the same message .....
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THE HAT
My uncle once spent days looking for his new hat. Finally, he decided that he'd go to
church on Sunday and sit at the back. During the service he would sneak out and grab a hat
from the rack at the front door.
On Sunday, he went to church and sat at the back. The sermon was about the 10
commandments. He sat through the whole sermon and instead of sneaking out he waited until
the sermon was over and went to talk to the minister.
"Father, I came here today to steal a hat to replace the one I lost. But after
hearing your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I changed my mind."
The minister said, "Bless you my son. Was it when I started to preach thou shall not
steal, that changed your heart?"
My uncle responded, "No, it was the one on adultery. When you started to preach on
that, I remembered where I left my hat."
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WHEN YOU DONT PLAN
he Malaysian government decided to solve their
disease-carrying mosquito problem by spraying the infested areas with DDT. This worked,
but the cockroaches then devoured the dead mosquitos. This was followed by the region's
gecko lizards consuming the roaches.
The geckos did not die from the residual poison (surprisingly), but their central nervous
systems were greatly affected, causing the lizards to slow down.
Moving up the food chain, the cats ate the slow-moving lizards and started to die off in
large quantities. Of course, fewer cats means more rats, and the country's rat population
soared.
As a result, the World Health Organization was forced to step in and ban the DDT. In an
effort to restore the ecological balance, they flew in planeloads of cats to kill the
rats.
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CASINO
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table. A very attractive redhead comes in
and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm bottomless."
With that she strips naked from the waist down, and rolls the dice while yelling,
"Momma needs a new pair of pants!"
She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers. "YES! I WIN! I
WIN!"
With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at
each other dumbfounded.
Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?"
The other answers, "I thought YOU were watching!"
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----------------------
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