Halo-halong pinoy jokes
How does a pickpocket fall in love? "At purse sight."
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Anong tawag sa sakit ng baboy? Pig-sa
Eh ano ang gamot sa pigsa? Eh di oink-ment!
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How do you know if siopao meat is made of cat, rat or dog? Pinch a piece of siopao and let
the cat smell it. If the cat likes it....rat, if it doesn't...cat, if it runs...dog!
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How are a woman and a frying pan similar? You have to get both of them hot before you put
the meat in.
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Anong similarity ng sperm at mayonnaise? Pareho silang galing itlog at parehong Ladies'
Choice.
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At a strip joint, a girl wearing a g-string dances on stage. Japanese huks Y10,000 to her
panty, the American huks $100, Filipino takes out his credit card and swipes it thru the
girl's butt!
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Teacher: Erap spell horse!
Erap: H....O....
Teacher: Bilisan mo
Erap: H....O....R...
Teacher: Sabing bilisan mo
Erap: Ya! Tigidig!!!Tigidig!!! Tigidig...
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Ano and Filipino translation ng sex?
Clue: Starts with the letter K...naisip mo na?
Come on you can do it......
The answer is...kasarian. Dirty mind ha
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What did the napkin say to the utot? You are the wind beneath my wings.
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Chinese: I have 4 wives, 1 more I have a basketball team.
American: I have 9 wives, 1 more I have a football team.
Pinoy: I have 17 wives, 1 more I have a golf course, 18 holes.
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Guy goes to a dentist office, sits down in the chair, takes out his dick.
Doc: What are you doing? I'm a dentist!
Guy: There's a tooth in there!
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In a restaurant, a man met a lovely waitress.
Man: What is your name?
Waitress: Omega, sir.
Man: Beautiful name, how are you related to Omega watch he he
Waitress: Same price, sir but different movement!
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in a rape case, a lady was asked by the lawyer, "Did you scream for help?"
Lady: Yes, sir.
Lawyer: Did anyone come?
Lady: Yes, sir, first he did then I did!
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An alcoholic son's letter to his Dad:
Beer dad, gin na ko mag-iinom whisky kelan. Tanduayan mo yan.
Your son, Miguel.
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Miss Universe Pageant
The SETTING: Pageant Night Ms. Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion
THE FINALISTS: Miss America, Miss Spain, Miss Britain, Miss Iran, Miss India and Miss Philippines
QUESTION: Miss America, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MISS AMERICA: Well, I would say that , male organs in America are like gentlemen.
QUESTION: Why do you say that?
MS. AMERICA: Because it stands every time it sees a woman.
(Applause...Applause)
QUESTION: Miss Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MISS SPAIN: Male organs in our country are like toros in our very ownbullfight.
QUESTION: Why do you say that?
MISS SPAIN: Because it charges every time it sees an opening.
(Applause....Applause)
QUESTION: Miss Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. BRITAIN: Male organs in our country are like Shakesperian actors.
QUESTION: Why do you say that?
MisS BRITAIN: Because it cries after every performance.
(Applause...Applause)
QUESTION: Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MISS IRAN: Well. I can say that male organs in Irans are like thieves.
QUESTION: And why do you say that?
MISS IRAN: Because they always enter through the back dooor.
(Applause...Applause)
QUESTION: Miss India, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MISS INDIA: Well, I can say that a male organ in India is like a labourer.
QUESTION: Why do you say that?
MISS INDIA: Because it works day & night.
(Applause...Applause)
QUESTION: Miss Philippines, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MISS PHILIPPINES: Ahh... well, opcors, hihihi... I can say dat male organs in our country are like tsismis!
QUESTION: Tsismis?
MISS PHILIPPINES: Ayy! Sorry... it's ano, ahh kuwan... it means GOSSIP in our language.
QUESTION: Hmm... interesting comparison. And why do you say that?
MISS PHILIPPINES: Ayy... dyahe! Hihihi! Kasi... I mean... Because... it passes from mouth to mouth.
(STANDING OVATION!)