LIKE most affairs do, it started innocently enough. Trying to reach a student assistant who had a new cell phone number which I couldn't recall, I decided to send the same text message to combinations of numbers which I thought would be closest to her number.

Oct. 4, evening. "Is this your number, Rog? Ms. J." After three tries, I finally got the assistant's reply, plus another one: "Who are you?"

"Oops, sorry, wrong number!" I texted back. The following morning, I was surprised to find two more messages from my unknown texter: "Okay, Ms. J," and a morning prayer wishing me the strength to face the day's challenges. Touched by a prayer from a complete stranger, I texted back, "Thanks. God bless you, too, unknown friend."

As I was savoring my morning coffee, my cellphone beeped once more. "Hi, I'm NNN." Out of courtesy, I texted back: "Thnx again, NNN, for being gracious about my mistake last night. Gud day!" and thought that that was the end of it, never imagining that my life would change soon.

NNN: Where r u?

J (me): Bacolod. U?

NNN: Manila.

NNN: How old r u?

J: 32. u?

NNN: You're 3210, I'm 3410.

Over the next three days, our cellphones must have overheated and our fingers ached from all the texting. I know mine did. The messages came fast and furious. We learned about each other - that he worked in a travel agency, was 5'9", loved sports, had a dog and a cat, and was a dedicated Christian and a homebody. That I taught in a university, was 5'4", very fair, loved to read books and listen to music, and enjoyed my work very much.

I had to tell him one other important thing about me, though.

N: I'm still single.

I: I'm not. Will that be a problem?

It took a full five minutes for him to answer. "You bet!"

From then on, we knew that it was to be more than just a budding platonic friendship between us.

Over the next seven days, we danced around each other with our text messages, sometimes playfully, sometimes seriously, but always implying that we were getting to be more than just friends. He would text me late at night to tell me he couldn't sleep and ask me why. I would text him back to tell him it was the same case with me and that I was getting scared of where we were heading.

One morning at 3 a.m., after waking up to feed the baby and then checking my phone's battery charging, I decided to send him my morning message for the day, pleased at the thought that it would be the first thing he would read upon waking up. I was surprised, though, when he promptly texted back, "We'll do it tomorrow, mahal ko (my love), I am too sleepy now!"

"Mahal ko," he said? Although probably unconscious on his part, my heart sang at the revelation. Later in the day, I decided to reveal myself, too: "Good morning, mahal."

Our friendship plumbed a new level of intimacy. The teasing became so unbearable that, later that evening, after work and while in our beds, we made love with our words.

"Do you really love me?" he asked. Of course, I answered "Yes."

I was unprepared for his next question. "How about your husband?"

Still feeling giddy and lighthearted, I was light and casual in my reply. "I don't know...let's take it one day at a time. I love my family; I love you. Is that possible or am I too greedy?"

That must have set off something in him, for he texted back with a bombshell: "It cannot be and it isn't right. Maybe we should end this whole thing."

I was stung. It took me all morning to compose a suitably dignified reply, texted in five installments. "You're a hypocrite," I said. "From the very start, when I said that maybe we should stop this as this seems to be getting somewhere I'm afraid to go, YOU WOULDN'T STOP. Now that we've reached this point, and I'm not scared anymore - because I now know how to handle this - you've suddenly turned into a saint! But it's okay. You're right: let's stop this, now. So, I love you, but goodbye. Your coming into my life was a blessing; I'll always be thankful for that."

For the next two days, I was alternately numb and tearful. While driving or working, I would break into tears. People would look at me, and I would just blow my nose and say that I was coming down with the flu.

Every time the phone beeped, I would scramble to check. I seesawed between fits of rationality and impetuousness. I told myself it was all for the best, a blessing in disguise. If this hurt now, how much more would it hurt if it went on further? I was married, a mother of three very young children, and a university teacher at that. Pursuing an affair would only ruin my life. But then, I also told myself, if he called, I would apologize and make him change his mind. I love him!

Today, though, I prayed. I realized how blessed I was to have a happy marriage and family life, while so many others, like NNN, live their lives always searching but never finding what I already have. The boring routine I had started to take for granted with my husband was actually the haven of peace and belonging others would give their lives for.

I'd like to believe that NNN is basically a good and decent man. If he was not, he could just as easily have carried on our affair without any qualms. I'd also like to believe he really must have loved me to want all of me, or nothing at all.

So, today, for the last time, I texted him: "NNN? I just wanted to thank you for returning me to my family. YOU ARE A GOOD MAN. I pray now that God will bless you with the kind of love that you deserve. Take care."

Still, many times, I wait for the phone to beep.